You have exactly the love life you want

The other night I was watching one of my favorite movies, The Wedding Date. There’s a line at the end of the movie that I’ve always found interesting. Not sure if I got it verbatim, but this is close, “Everyone has exactly the love life they want.”

There are many ways to interpret this simple premise.

That if we have settled into a relationship for whatever reason, we have done so even though we may feel like we deserve or want better, but what we have is the best we can do.

That if we know that we want more love, affection, passion, etc. in our relationship, we are too afraid to go after that.

Letting go of guilt and obligation overrides our desire for a more fulfilling love life.

That we lack faith, courage, or confidence in the future that what is best for us is right in front of us if we just accept it.

I have been there and I can tell you that waiting is useless. Life happens to us every day and one day you can look back and wish you had done something different before.

I’m not talking here about leaving long-term relationships without some work. Relationships aren’t easy, never have been, and never will be, but this doesn’t mean they can’t be based on affection, passion, appreciation, support, belief, love, and nurturing. Too many couples lack many of these ingredients, and one or both partners suffer silently in their own inner prison day after day, all the while hoping and wishing.

If you’re in a relationship that lacks respect, unconditional love, total acceptance, passion, and intimacy, it might be time to consider the trade-offs or benefits versus the downsides of staying. But, before moving too fast, you might want to consider that wherever you go, there you will be. In other words, you have to take yourself to every relationship. So before you jump ship, you might want to ask yourself, how am I contributing to the current state of my relationship?

I have known few people who have lived in wedded bliss for 40 years or more. They all faced their challenges, but in the end, if you’re not a “team or association” that embraces all of the above qualities, you may be living a lie and too scared or insecure to change.

Life is too short to live it without receiving and giving love.

There are no benefits for liquidation. So you currently have the love life you want. Do you want something better? First ask yourself why and if your answers are based on common sense, survival, or emotional well-being and your inner guidance system tells you to go, then walk away and trust the process of your life.

If your inner guidance system tells you to say, then start doing what you can to make your current relationship rewarding, fun, respectful, loving, and intimate. But either way, when you reach your later years, whatever you decide, you will have no one to blame for your life but yourself. Are you ready for that responsibility?