The seven spiritual laws of divorce
It is important to know that the breakup of your relationship is for a greater purpose. Understanding some of the basic spiritual laws of the Universe will help you discover that there is a reason you are feeling this pain. These laws will guide you through the healing process and bring you back to a very deep place that is full of wisdom, knowledge and compassion for the human experience. Below are the first three of the Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce that are at the heart of my book, Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life.
The law of acceptance
The first spiritual law, and possibly the most important, is that everything is as it should be. Nothing happens by accident and there are no coincidences. We are always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not. And our lives are divinely designed so that each of us gets exactly what he needs to support his own unique evolutionary process.
The law of surrender
When we stop resisting and surrender to our situation as it is, things start to change. Resistance is the number one culprit in denying us our right to heal. We resist out of fear that if we let go, if we give up, our lives will spiral out of control or we will face circumstances we cannot handle. When we are willing to look at our situation and admit that we don’t know how to fix it, we are ready to get the help we need.
The Law of Divine Guidance
God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. When we get out of our own way and let go of our defenses, we become humble. Humility is the door through which the Divine can enter our lives. Without humility, we think we can do it ourselves. Without humility, our false sense of pride, or ego, prevents us from seeing the whole situation with clear eyes. Our egos stay in charge until we get out of our righteous belief that we are independent and separate beings. As long as this myth is intact, we will keep the door closed to our higher wisdom.
These spiritual laws, and the four laws that follow, are a guide and will serve as a reference point for your healing process. They are designed to help you overcome his fears, dissolve his pain, and understand the deeper meaning of his situation. When these laws are integrated and practiced, they will give you the freedom to create the life you have always dreamed of.
To further support you in healing your heart and moving powerfully into your future, I would also invite you to set aside some time for internal reflection and journaling. This will help you tremendously to use the pain of your separation or divorce as a catalyst for the next and greatest expression of yourself:
Healing Action Steps
1. List five difficult experiences you have had. Next to each one, write a lesson you learned as a result of it. How has that lesson helped you in your life?
2. Make a list of twenty favorable things that have resulted from your separation from your partner. As the following list suggests, the benefits of your breakup can be significant or quite superficial. It can be helpful to look to your complaints for inspiration. If you can’t find any, ask your friends and family to help you. Your list could look something like this:
– I don’t have to share a bathroom.
– I have more time for reading and self-reflection.
– I can be myself without having to please someone.
– I don’t have to make dinner anymore.
– I don’t have to answer to anyone about my comings and goings.
– I feel free to go back to school.
– I can invite friends and family at any time of the day or night.
– I’m getting to know myself again, only now at an even deeper level.