Sex as competitive sport and entertainment
Interestingly, men are much more interested in the female orgasm than women themselves. If women love sex, why does a man care what is said about his responses? It is the fact that women are not as excited about sex as men would like that makes men put pressure on women. This pressure, in turn, causes some women to fake orgasm or profess a fictitious enthusiasm for sex. By promoting the idea that intercourse causes a female orgasm, a man can transform his selfish need for sexual release into a selfless desire to please his lover. This masculine behavior is a man’s way of gaining sexual permission and emotional acceptance from women.
Imagine a world where an alien species has killed all the women. They are a race of men, much stronger than the men of Earth. The aliens find men from Earth attractive, and naturally, the aliens are the diggers. Aliens are so turned on by men’s anuses that they assume that Earth men want to be anally penetrated. Earth men are not excited by this activity. They provide it because they have no other choice. Aliens enjoy looking at pictures of men’s anuses. They also like images that show their own penises penetrating the anuses of Earth men. They assume that men should enjoy the same. The images are falsified to give the impression that the men of Earth want to be penetrated by extraterrestrials. Some Earthmen suggest that they enjoy this activity because they want to earn money or be popular with the aliens. Most of the men on Earth say nothing (aliens never listen to objections), but insist that the images are censored.
There are always many more men looking for sex than docile (or seemingly docile) women. Clubs and bars make men pay while women get in for free. Men are asked to bring a partner, but single women are welcome. The imbalance between the male demand for sex and the female supply is a constant source of frustration for many single and married men.
It used to be called wife swapping, but today the more unisex term swinging is used. People gather to have sex with complete strangers. Some people find this extremely erotic, while others find it backwards due to the lack of emotional context. Women enjoy being admired sexually, but the main motivation comes from their male partners.
Both straight and gay men can become obsessed with their own performance and that of a lover as if sex were a competitive sport. However, over time this approach to sex can cause dissatisfaction. In the long run, most people derive more satisfaction from relationships based on a sense of emotional connection to a lover. The non-orgasmic aspects of sex, such as the anticipation and buildup of arousal, can also be enjoyable.
There is nothing a woman can do to make intercourse happen. But if she is attracted to a man, she can indicate her disposition. Women complement men’s sexuality, not by having a similar focus on their own arousal, but by engaging with male fantasies that help with male arousal. When a woman seduces a man, she may use sexual behaviors that tempt him to want to have sex with her by providing erotic arousals that make her aroused.
A woman values a man as a social asset (having status and experience). But a man values a woman as a sexual asset. A young woman is a trophy for her attractiveness and her inexperience. A man enjoys knowing that his lover is attractive not only to him but also to other men. A man enjoys the satisfaction of being chosen as a lover by an attractive woman.
When a man pays special attention to a woman, she is naturally flattered. Every time he admires her or talks about her, in her mind she knows consciously or unconsciously that he wants to have sex with her. She may enjoy rewarding him for her admiration in the hope that he will love her. If he passes on to another woman the next day, she feels betrayed. She has offered him her love and he has trampled on it. Women don’t understand how sex can be so important to men and yet so trivial. For men, sex often seems to be just a basic physical need. Some men have no interest in women as people. They just want the erotic variety and the sense of conquest.
Addictions are characterized by compulsive behaviors. For men, sex addiction often centers on an obsession with pornography. This generates problems due to the mismatch with reality. Women, on the other hand, use sex to find love. Inexperienced women often think that men will love them if they offer them sex. Men don’t necessarily connect sex and love. Perversely, men often marry women who are less promiscuous because they value sexual loyalty in women even if they are not ready to offer it themselves.
She can say she had 5 orgasms and you will have no way to prove her wrong. The truth is that the man would even want to prove her wrong. We all like to think we did it right, so who’s really going to question it unless it was a horrible performance on her part? (Stephan Labossiere 2012)