Relationships: Why do some people fall apart when a relationship ends?

If you have just gone through a breakup, you may find it difficult to focus on other areas of your life. Due to the amount of pain they are in, everything else could take a backseat.

Perhaps they were with someone for a long time and may even have had a strong connection with them. Therefore, now that the relationship has come to an end, it will be normal for them to feel pain.

Death
​
What they are going through may be very similar to what they would go through if another person had died. Your ex may not have passed away but what you had together will no longer exist.

This shows that it doesn’t matter if another person has passed away or has just disappeared from one’s life; it will still be experienced as a loss. In both cases, your life will never be the same again.

A Gradual Process

However, as long as you allow yourself to cry and work on how you feel, you should be able to get up once again. As the weeks and months go by, they may begin to feel better.

What had faded into the background at first may end up coming back into your life. So the things they lost interest in may soon go back to being things they enjoy doing.

external support

Another thing that will be important to them is making sure they have the right people around them during this time. They will be people who show you support and encouragement.

Along with this, do things with these people that give them a break from what’s going on. If one were their own island, they could rise again with the support of anyone else.

a distant memory

Soon there may come a time when they will remember what happened and it will be as if they are remembering something they saw on television. Then emotions will arise within them, but these emotions will not erase them.

When you get to this point, you can see that while this time in your life was difficult, it allowed you to grow. There may be a number of different things that they learned, and they may even have ended up meeting someone who is a better match.

The ideal

One way of looking at the scenario above would be to say that this is what someone would expect to happen if they had to go through a breakup. They may not want to experience pain when a relationship ends, but they definitely want to be able to move on with their lives as time goes on.

However, this is not going to be what happens to everyone. For some people, a breakup can cause them to experience a lot of pain, and this pain may not lessen over time.

two ends

Unlike the person above, someone like this may experience a deep sense of loss, but this might not be as far as it goes. In addition to feeling sad and even hopeless, they could end up feeling suicidal.

Your inner world will be in complete disarray, and you might feel like your whole world has come to an end. Her reason for being alive will be gone, taking with it her reason for getting out of bed.

Down Right Down

From the outside, one will look like a complete human being, but inside, one will feel anything but complete. Like a small boat on the ocean, there will be nothing to stabilize your thoughts and feelings.

Before they were in the relationship, they may have been generally okay, making it difficult for them to understand why they are in such a mess. That is, of course, if they are able to think clearly at this stage in their life.

A reason

What this may show is that they did not receive the kind of attention they needed as children to develop a strong core/sense of self. Instead, this would have been a time when they were careless.

So now that the attachment you formed has come to an end, you will have brought out all the pain you experienced during this stage of your life. And since it is painful for them to experience this pain now, it will give them an understanding of how painful it must have been for them as children.

no foundation

Another way of looking at what happened would be to say that one will be like a house built on sound. If they had received proper care, they would be a house with solid foundations.

Having strong foundations, the emotional strength within them would make it easier for them to handle what happened. That is why childhood neglect causes so much damage, since the solid foundations that are needed to be able to face adult life are not formed; you just end up with layers and layers of trauma and even brain damage.

Awareness

If one can relate to this and wants to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.

Working with someone like this can allow them to go where they wouldn’t go alone. The presence that someone like this provides will make it easier for you to face how you feel and work through your pain.