Preserving a marriage after an affair: how do I deal with the images in my mind? 3 step exercise

Worried about preserving a marriage after an affair? Do you constantly ask yourself the question: “How do I deal with the images in my mind?” If the answer to these questions is yes, here are 3 steps I learned and used to stop images from haunting me. I hope you use them to ease your nightmares too…

Step 1: Find yourself a safe place

Ultimately, your goal is to regain control over your mind. So start by first finding or creating a safe place in your mind.

This is what you can do:

Close your eyes and imagine a scene that pleases you: a relaxing environment where you feel safe. It could be at the beach, in a garden, at your parents’ house. You can choose. Up to you.

Please keep reminding yourself and making sure you are safe here. If you feel scared or uncomfortable, you can stop at any time. Just “shut the doors” or “unleash the dogs.” Create some “bodyguards” in your mind that will come and protect you when you need them.

When you feel confident and ready, move on to step 2…

Step 2 – Invite the scene or images in

As you feel calm and secure in your safe place, invite your mind to the scene or images that have been haunting you.

Remember, these are just images. You have to constantly remind yourself of this as you invite in the scene that has been haunting you. They are not real, they cannot harm you, and they have no power in your world.

You are the only power in your mind. Once you understand and accept this, move on to the next step…

Step 3 – Use the power of your imagination to distort the scene or images in your mind

Use the power of your imagination to distort the images in your mind. Make it black and white, blur the images, turn down the volume, imagine crushing it with your bare hands, burning it in flames, do what you can… to distort it and make it disappear after a few distortions.

What you can do is repeat this several times. Each time you do this, notice any improvement in the way you feel. If this becomes too scary or painful for you, stop immediately and pick up the phone to call a friend to immediately distract yourself. Remember to breathe as normally as you can.