Overcoming the bad news blues
Damn those bad days. Days when nothing seems to go right, nobody seems to care and tomorrow seems to be more of the same. Your mind scatters, your perspective darkens, and your body becomes heavy. You know what I’m talking about? I’ve been there. I’ve had days I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to get out of bed… surely when I did, the weight of my world would become heavier.
Call it whatever you want. Call it moods, call it depression. I call it human. If you’re sensitive like me, you’ll have days where you’re prone to feeling less positive than little Suzie Sunshine. But, if you can recognize it, you can change it.
Did you just roll your eyes? It’s almost annoying how simplistic it seems, isn’t it? But stay with me here because it’s true. And I’m going to share with you how easy it is to do.
THE SIMPLE TRUTH
When you’re feeling down, you have two reasonable options. (I say reasonable because if you feel beyond rational, I encourage you to seek help from a professional.) However, the truth is that most of us have the power to choose how we want to spend our day. Behind door #1 is an eerie, moody, dark and cloudy negative day. Behind door #2 awaits a productive, clear and optimistic day. It’s “Let’s make a deal” with yourself. Tell me, which one do you choose more often?
I’m writing this because I woke up feeling a bit jaded this morning. Yes, he is still human. It’s a mix of some personal conflicts I’ve had… and the state of the world. Or at least, the state of the world according to CNN.com. And that’s all I know at the moment. So, I find myself in this useless, slightly upset, slightly distant, highly emotional state. A state that is good for one thing…punishing myself.
Cue the music. Enter Monty Hall. And let’s play… “Let’s make a deal”!
Now I know how to choose Door #2. No more #1 for me. And I want to share with you ways to choose a positive day when you find yourself having to make your own deal.
turn off media
No more news. No more newspapers. No more network websites. Click all for today. He will be there tomorrow and his condition will be different. When you feel sad or less than optimistic, the media is certainly not going to change your opinion for the better. In fact, it’s their JOB to make you feel needed. They depend on it. So, strip them of their power over you. No more media noise. Change it to a music station or just “turn off” and feel the change.
I already feel better.
check your body
Take a minute and look at your own physiology. How is your posture? Do you have negative energy? My jaw clenches so much that my tone of voice changes. Even my phone’s personality is different when I’m tense. Guess what? Because I give tension, I get it back… whether I want it or not. What are you pulling out with just your body? Sit straight. Inhale fully and deeply. Go for a walk. Get some energy in that body of yours. Changing your physiology will change the way you think.
Focus on the task at hand
Be present and give your energy and focus to a task. Do it completely and to the best of your ability. After you’ve finished one, move on to the next. Focus and give it your full attention. Even if you’re doing something that seems insignificant, pay attention to the details. I remember hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer once say, “If you’re doing the dishes, REALLY do the dishes.” It sounds simple… even stupid when you’re feeling cynical. Just do it. You will feel the change. Your mind cannot divide thoughts. If you’re focused on your task, you can’t enjoy your negativity at the same time. It’s just not possible.
Don’t give in to the old negative clothes.
Don’t you hate it when you’re doing so well quitting something, haven’t had a cigarette in four days, and then some seemingly bad news throws you back to yesterday? Don’t let it. Don’t reach for that extra caffeine, go back to biting your nails or skipping your workout. It will only make you feel worse. The effect is immediate. We all know that guilt trumps any instant gratification. Don’t question it. Stay true to the commitments you have made to yourself. And congratulate yourself on your willpower. That’s just positive energy attracting more positive energy.
be thankful
ah When the world around you seems bleak, there’s still a light that shines somewhere. Find them. What are you thankful for? If you are reading this, you have eyesight, you have access to modern technology, you have BREATH. Take a moment and say thank you. Focus on what is good in your life. I feel like I’m resisting this when I’m really on a pity roll. “Yes, I have my health BUT…” Force yourself to put it into perspective. Take a picture of the people who mean something to you. Look in the mirror until you can see life in your own eyes. Focus on what is good in your life and you will get more.
Take action for someone else
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have searched and found how to serve.” -Albert Schweitzer
There is no better cure for the blues than helping someone else. Take your attention away from yourself… and put it on someone who needs it. This will give you a break from your own state and things will look different when you return. It’s hard to find gate #1 when you’ve already passed through gate #2.
This is the true test of self help, really helping yourself. It’s all very well to be positive and appreciative when you’re winning the lottery or getting a promotion. But how about when you’ve just lost thousands on the stock market and you’re worried about your job security? This is when the challenge is greatest, without a doubt. But if you choose to believe in your own power and strength to make decisions, these techniques are here for you. They will guide you out of the darkness into a brighter and more optimistic world.