Non-compliant listening – Listening styles

Communication is the basis of any relationship, whether as a couple, at work, with children or interpersonal. You can identify with some of the following types of ineffective listening styles. Like any interpersonal shortcoming, these styles become a habit that we fall into over time. Take a look at this list and see if any of them look familiar to you.

• The Pretender it is the listener who appears to be listening but is actually concentrating on something else. As a result, the speaker may have no idea that the message from him has not been received. You may be watching TV and your partner is saying something to you, but you’re too focused on the TV show and you say “yes” and “aha” without paying attention.

• the reflector it is the listener who is constantly driving the conversation, so the focus is on him/her rather than the message being delivered. It could be tied to the ego.
• the cherry picker it’s the listener that only responds to the messages it cares about and spits out all the others. Selective listeners.
• the avoider it is the listener who is not going to respond to topics that are uncomfortable for them. Teens and parents can do a lot with this style.
• The defender it is the listener who takes things personally and perceives many messages as attacks. Self-conscious person or person who does not take constructive criticism well.
• The covert attacker it is the listener who listens intently but for the wrong reasons. He/she has an ulterior motive to collect ammunition to use at another time during a surprise attack. Revenge or Revenge.
• the realist it is the listener who perceives the message literally and has difficulty reading between the lines of the intended meaning.

In summary

As you can see, you may fit into more than one style, which is normal. Knowing what they are and identifying them when you are in that state of mine will help you in the future.