NO contact is the most important first step

In my research, everywhere you look regarding what to do and what not to do after the breakup, you come across the most important first step, which is the no contact rule.

Reasons for No Contact

I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if you broke up with your ex or he broke up with you. After that heated argument that led to their breakup. Both of you need a period of reflection to get over your feelings, as it is just as difficult for the person who ended the relationship as it is for the one who stayed.

How long should No Contact last?

Relationship experts say that the period of no contact should be at least 30 days or more, depending on:
• How long you were together in the relationship
• how long it takes both to heal

Each relationship and each person handles situations and emotions differently; one person in the same relationship may only need 30 days, while the other person may need more time to sort out her emotions, self-esteem, and confidence.

break all contact

You should have as little contact with your ex as possible during this period, which will obviously depend on your situation, if you have children together or financial ties, you will need to work out some of the details regarding these issues. Then make sure you have as little contact with each other as possible.

Social media is so dangerous at this point in your life that it could lead you to mistakenly assume that your ex is having fun without you or dating someone else. It’s a good idea to block or delete them, even if it’s for a couple of weeks.

The emotions you need to overcome

Although it feels totally impossible at this point to survive this entire ordeal, this period of no contact is very important for both of you to take time without distraction to work through your emotions of:
• Shock and disbelief
• Feeling of betrayal
• Anger
• Sadness and Depression
• Loneliness

If you try to get in touch with your ex too soon without dealing with the above emotions first and without a plan, it could turn very ugly as neither of you are ready and you panic and your ex says and does all the things incorrect that makes tempers flare even higher and then can get really nasty.