Why am I so angry?
What is the root cause of anger? Why is my body reacting to the intense anger I feel? Every part of my body aches and I find myself quietly wearing down everyone around me and road rage is at the top of my list. I can’t stand being around anyone and I’ve become antisocial. The anger is killing me and the exercises I am doing to overcome it are not working. I am physically and mentally exhausted and have had to take time off work before getting sick or saying something inappropriate to someone who has power over me.
Love is who and what we are. When we are in love with ourselves there is no greater feeling. Fear is the opposite of love; but love and fear are the same. Fear is at the other end of the stick, and as you move away from love, you experience fear. Fear is less love. As you move away from fear, you begin to experience love once again. We live in a Universe of relativity and as we move away from one thing, we experience another. For example, there is no cold, there is simply less heat. As we move away from the fire we begin to feel less heat and we call it cold; it is actually just less heat that we are experiencing.
All things that are not experienced as love will be experienced as fear to some degree. Anger is the recognition that we are not living the experience of love. We are born in the condition of love and from that moment we begin to feel and understand other emotions as we move away from the experience of love. Our basic needs to sustain life become apparent to us from the moment of birth. Intuitively the body knows that it needs food, water, shelter and love. When he does not receive them, he begins to experience fear for his very existence. A baby will cry if he is hungry, cold, or bored. As we age, we express our fear in other destructive ways.
Fear is therefore an emotion of lack. We are afraid of not getting what we want and we get angrier the longer we go without it. Nature never intended for us to get by; lack is not a condition of nature. Nature is abundant and it is a creative force, and it is a consciousness that only seeks to experience life through us as individual beings.
Anger management exercises do not work for long if the root cause of the anger is not understood. Anger is simply a self-expression of lack: we are not getting what we want and we fear that we will not get it.
The biggest mistake we make when trying to understand our anger is that we believe that someone else is making us angry, that is not possible. The best thing anyone can do is give us a chance to be angry. The feeling of being angry is generated by the individual himself. The person has control of her anger to any degree. The object of his anger is simply an opportunity to express it.
To discover what it is that we fear, we have to be critically honest with ourselves and ask ourselves why we are afraid. What am I most afraid of?
1. Am I afraid of losing my job? can i get another one
2. Am I afraid of failing in my relationship and losing my partner?
3. Am I afraid that I won’t be able to support myself?
4. Am I afraid of being a loser or failing in my current experience or in life in general?
5. Am I afraid that I won’t get another chance?
6. Am I afraid that no one else can love me?
7. Am I afraid that what my parents said about me is true?
The list is endless and some or all of them may apply to our situation. Be that as it may, they all have something in common: the fear of failure. The ego is always afraid for its very existence and anything that triggers a feeling of lack will automatically ignite the feeling of fear for the ego.
To manage anger you must identify the lack that you may be experiencing in your life. You should also remember the last time you felt anger and what the circumstances of your life were at that time. Did you get over the anger and why did it go away or did you just hide or suppress it?
The difference between people who ‘have’ and people who ‘have not’ is that those who have always know that they can get more. They have a lifetime of having and they don’t live in fear. Anger is a temporary feeling that ignites your consciousness and causes you to focus on receiving.
Life was never meant to be a struggle; we create our own anger and we can handle it. Anger works if it is handled properly. It brings awareness to our current circumstances and is a wake-up call for appropriate action. But anger management isn’t something you do only when something isn’t working for you. It is a lifetime awareness of who and what you are and where your power comes from. You are creating all the circumstances of your life; You are not a victim. You can handle anger knowing that you have it and you can always create what you want in your life. There is no lack; Lack is something that has been taught to you by your culture, customs, religion, family, friends and everyone around you. It is a condition of the conscious mind and not of the subconscious or spiritual mind. When you realize this fact, you will know that you can have anything you want; you will never fear again.
I’m not suggesting you don’t seek professional help, when you’re knee-deep in alligators; you need immediate help. But for long-term healing, you need to understand what anger really is.
While training to be an NLP therapist, one of the first things our instructor taught us was that we all have the ability to heal ourselves. Throughout my life I have experienced this ability and I know that I have the power just like you. Individually, you are the most extraordinary living being there is. You have the power of that which created you. You are creating your anger and you will also create your healing. This is not just a fanciful notion, it is an absolute truth.
To properly manage your anger, don’t have it and when you start to feel it, ask yourself what you think you lack. Love yourself first, fill yourself with that feeling and know that everyone else is just an extension of you in other ways. They are opportunities for you to express yourself as this or that. They are there as a representation of your feelings of love or fear; they are always a manifestation of your current thoughts.
The truth is, you don’t have to handle anger, you have to handle love. Self love will always overcome fear. But don’t be fooled by trying to fool yourself. If you are not fully aware of love; you will feel fear. You are what you believe: you are love in human form and you will never have to be angry again. The best way to handle anger is to not be angry in the first place. Stay in a condition of love and anger cannot live there. Anger is an error in thought.