Small talk tricks

Small talk is polite conversation about trivial matters that usually don’t involve much controversy. It is an unnecessary conversation that tends to fill a situation that seems uncomfortable. These are things that don’t matter, especially between people who don’t know each other well. It revolves around topics like sports, the weather, current jobs, the latest gossip, or where a person lives. Sometimes it backfires in social unrest and feelings of loneliness. Small talk helps build one’s confidence so you can start conversations, develop your social skills, and make connections.

Small talk is not only knowing what to say, but also knowing what not to say (what should be kept private). There are things that when engaged in small talk make you or the person you are conversing with uncomfortable. Some of the things that make small talk critical include;

Financial. Asking people you are meeting for the first time about financial matters is quite inappropriate. While it’s good to ask someone what they do for a living or the positive aspects of their career, it’s not appropriate to ask about salary. Some people will find such a question intrusive and inappropriate.

Religion. It’s another sensitive and personal question to ask someone you’re meeting for the first time. Some may not like being asked what religion they belong to as they may think you belong to the opposite side so they may take it as a discrimination question. It is also vital to know that some people do not belong to any religion, so such a question can be insulting. Questions about religion should be avoided during small talk.

Politics. Another area to avoid is politics. The problem is that you may not know who in the crowd has strong opinions. Avoid political questions unless you are prepared for a heated debate.

Sex. Asking questions of an intimate nature or talking about sex during small talk is highly inappropriate. When talking to strangers, stop making sexual advances or talking about sex openly. Such questions tend to make other people uncomfortable.

Death. Another worse topic to be avoided during small talk. When in the company of strangers, do not bring up topics that are emotionally arousing or potentially upsetting. Some in the group may have lost someone close to them and when they are reminded, they may end up getting emotional about it.

Appearance/age. DDon’t ask someone questions related to age and appearance unless you know the person well. It may seem quite similar to you, but it’s a hot topic for someone else. You are talking to a strange woman and you ask her if she is pregnant or why she looks so thin or fat. You may not know the reason for her pregnancy, how thin or fat she is, and this could leave you and her in an awkward situation.

Prank offense. You hardly know someone, you just met and you have started the silly jokes you make with your best friends. Some people don’t like jokes. To be specific, avoid racist and sexist jokes as they are offensive and can quickly end your conversation.

personal gossip. You can gossip about celebrities during small talk, but avoid gossiping about people you know personally. Gossiping about other people makes you look bad. On the other hand, you never know who you might meet. Stop talking bad!

past relationships. On the first date, avoid talking about past relationships. Some people’s pasts can be painful, while others don’t like being told how your ex used to do nice things to you. Talking too much about past love or making comparisons is a turnoff and a quick way to keep you from getting a second date.

narrow topics. Don’t talk too much about one-sided topics. Be enthusiastic and watch for signs that he has lost interest and find a way to end it quickly. It’s boring, for example, to go into too much detail about a movie, when some of the people haven’t seen the movie.

Those are some of the many things to avoid in small talk. They are critical and can quickly end conversations. However, don’t be afraid of small talk. You must learn to overcome the fear of small talk. Below is a list of things that can make you handle small talk:

  • Entertainment and Arts: Arts and entertainment topics are good conversation starters. They may include; books, movies and TV shows, music, etc.
  • The weather: As mundane as it may seem, it’s a general topic that everyone can discuss. Practice small talk about weather, or else you’ll find yourself in awkward silence with nothing to start with.
  • News: Reading news and staying up to date on current events is the best way to prepare for small talk. Be aware of what is trending in your country or city.
  • Family: You are likely to be asked about your family. Be prepared to answer such questions as well as to ask them. This will help you learn about a person in a short period.
  • Celebrity gossip: It’s good to know a little about some popular celebrities in case the topic comes up. But unless everyone is talking about the celebrity, avoid being the initiator of such conversations.
  • Hobbies: If you don’t have a hobby, consider having one, as people like to talk about their hobby and may be interested in learning about yours as well. Not only will it give you something to talk about, but you will also meet other people with similar interests to yours.

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