How to Benefit from Negative Feelings of Divorce

Negative emotions can take over how you feel, especially in the realm of divorce. They can lead to a complete emotional and energetic drain.

The main exception is anger, which immediately spikes your adrenaline, often leading you to react in ways you’ll later regret.

Negative or “dark” emotions are normal. It is what you do with the feeling of consumption that makes a negative or positive difference. Most people tend to react to their emotions based on their subconscious fear. When you learn to be more aware, you can make a different and more positive decision.

When my son was about three years old, I vividly remember his mother unexpectedly refusing to discuss the custody schedule. She then ordered in a completely controlling way that we were going to follow the custody schedule of the divorce decree. She wasn’t asking for my opinion like the other parent. She wasn’t bringing it up. She wasn’t sharing her opinion.

She was ordering in a threatening manner.

The divorce decree said that the custody schedule for our three-year-old son would be every other day. Yes, every new day he went to the house of the other parents.

The tragic irony is that this provided zero stability, zero consistency and was horrible for a little three year old.

I felt betrayed, shocked, beyond frustrated. I immediately felt anger rise to the surface. I couldn’t believe that the mother of my little girl could be so completely selfish and not realize how bad it would be for our daughter.

After reacting with extreme anger several times, I suddenly realized that my anger only made the situation worse.

I finally understood that the moment I reacted in anger, I had lost control of myself, of the interaction with the ex, and that she would never do what I wanted.

I worked to figure out what I really wanted to create for my three-year-old daughter and realized that I wanted to create a divorce environment in which she would thrive. I knew then that this would force me to be the best, most intentional parent I could be.

And no matter the circumstances with the ex, why would he want to be anything other than the best father he could be?

That’s when the dynamic between us started to change for the better.

Why and how? Because the ex was no longer getting the reactions she expected from me. I broke the vicious cycle and began to remain calm, even rational!

Over time, the ex also began to change. I think the positive impact on our daughter changed her life, but also her mother’s and mine.

The biggest lesson for me was realizing that anger, one of the more extreme “dark emotions” as I now call it, is normal, but when we allow our fear to lead us to overreact, it’s rare that something positive is produced. Outcome. The negative impact affects you, your children, the ex and even beyond.

Every time I felt the emotional and energetic drain of worry, stress, anxiety, sadness, being miserable and more, or felt the adrenaline rush of anger, I became more and more aware that I did NOT want to feel this way.

I would immediately switch to focusing on how I DID want to feel and use Gratitude to switch to a positive feeling or state.

Gratitude and fear cannot coexist simultaneously.

I would not only focus on the positive and wonderful things in my life that I could be thankful for, but I would also change my perspective on the challenge or difficulty with the ex and look for ways I could learn and grow.

I am always grateful to find ways to learn and grow, because these lessons and the growth that occurs are life changing for me and the people I love. The ripple effect may even continue outward, having a positive effect on my business and beyond!

Whether you are going through a divorce or are already divorced, negative emotions are normal. However, when they get out of control, they can consume everything.

How we feel drives what we say and do.

When reacting to a negative emotion we’re feeling in the moment further fuels the fire to make things worse, it should serve as a wake-up call.

How we feel is ultimately a choice. Yes, even when the ex has said or done something to hurt you on purpose.

There is a seemingly endless list of “negative emotions,” especially in the realm of divorce and parenthood:

• Fear, frustration, anger
• Worry, stress, anxiety
• Sadness, sorrow, remorse, guilt
• Regret and resentment
• Sense of loss (trust, security, stability, self-esteem, sense of family, self-assurance)
• Depression, confusion, rejection
• Lack of respect, bitterness, resentment, disgust
• Jealousy, self-pity
• Anticipation and negative expectations
• Suffering, despair, contempt, feeling of helplessness
• Grief, bereavement, doubts, nervousness, despair
• Vengeful, betrayed, miserable, overwhelmed
• Heartbroken, unhappy, dissatisfied
• Feeling like you are constantly walking on eggshells

As you can see from the list above, there is a seemingly endless variety of “dark emotions” that can drain all your energy, steal your joy and happiness, take you to the depths of hell, and have a negative emotional and psychological impact. in you, and worst of all in your children.

What you say and do is always a choice. Being aware of your negative emotions is very important.

What you consciously choose to do with those emotions is far more important.

Several points are essential here…

1. What you focus on, you create more of (ah, the Law of Attraction).

2. When you are clear about what you want for your children, this will do everything you can to help them maintain self-control and figure out what to say or do next to help them create more of what they want instead of what they don’t want.

• When you realize that everything you say and do as a parent teaches and impacts your children, you can begin to focus on what it takes to create an environment in which your children thrive.

3. Having gratitude for the challenges you are going through (yes, in your divorce situation) will allow you to find the opportunity to learn and grow through the insights and lessons of life’s difficulties, the most impactful way to learn and grow .

Be very clear about what you want to create for your children and what you want to teach them through your example.

To help you gain Clarity, do The EX-Factor Clarity Exercise right now.

Go to: http://www.theex-factor.com/clarityexercise

The access password is “clarity1”

Start by asking yourself, “What do I really want to create for my children?”

From this moment on, when you feel the emotional drain of a negative feeling, or the sudden surge of adrenaline when you’re about to explode with anger, ask yourself, “Is what I’m going to say or do creating more of what I am going to do?” Do I really want for my children, or make the situation worse?”

Use each interaction as an opportunity to tap into “dark emotions” to find the light at the end of the tunnel that will help you learn and grow, for your children’s sake as well as yours.

After all, don’t your kids deserve and need you to be the best parent you can be?